To Date or Not to Date...

Many girls spend an ample amount of time dreaming of their Prince Charming, which makes sense in light of the fact that they've been secretly planning their wedding since they were old enough to play with Wedding Day Barbie.  OK, maybe that's a little stereotypical, but I suspect I'm not far off base for many of you.  So if you are a girl who might fit into this scenerio, I would encourage you to keep reading, because what I'm going to share with you is how to tell the difference between a possible Mr. Right and a probable Mr. Wrong.

First of all, I would personally recommend no serious dating until you are in your twenties and out of college, but that's just me.  Because the truth is that serious dating can get in the way of important things in life, like getting your education, not to mention that if you can wait until then you'll probably be wiser in picking the right kind of guy for courtship (that's an old school word for dating).  Now when I say serious dating, I'm talking about dating for the clear purpose of finding your life partner.  This kind of dating is different from casual dating in that it has steps that progressively leads to an emotional connection, a.k.a. twitterpated (if you don't what that means, ask your parents).  Casual dating on the other hand doesn't have steps, therefore it should never progress beyond "casual" conversation and friendship.

Nonetheless, it is quite important to have some criteria even for the casual dating, because believe it or not casual dating has a mysterious way of becoming serious dating almost on accident if your not careful, and trust me, you don't want to be in the place where you've accidently given your heart to the wrong guy. 
So lets move on to a few proven techniques to avoid dating Bobcat Goldtwait's evil twin, Joe Bob:

1) Don't date a boy who is not growing in his relationship to the Lord.  In other words, don't take on a possible husband as your personal discipleship project.  He should be serious about his own spiritual pursuit of maturing in the grace and knowledge of Christ.  And don't think that just because he's mastered Bible Trivial Pursuit that he's truely growing spiritually.  Remember, he could possibly be the spiritual leader of your home someday, so you be sure he's the real deal.

2) Don't date a boy lacking in basic integrity.  If he lies to his parents (especially his mom) or sneaks out of the house to come see you, then he might as well have DON'T DATE ME tattooed on his forehead.  And if you try to confront him about his lack of integrity just to have him defend his actions, then mention to him my favorite Patrick Swayze quote from Road House, "Take the train."

3) Don't date a boy who is selfish.  Does he donate his time and services freely?  Does he visit his elderly grandmother in the nursing home?  Is he kind to children and strangers?  Is he patient with the waitress who got his order wrong?  If not, then move on, because you deserve better.

4) Don't date a boy who can't laugh at himself.  Can he tell a story where he looked foolish, and laugh about it?  If he takes himself too seriously to laugh at himself, then he's not right for you.  And when he laughs at others, can he do so without being cruel and unkind? 

5) Don't date a boy that you have to ask out, or who gets his feelings hurt too easily.  Remember that emotional issues often come by the dozen, so if he doesn't have the courage to ask you out on a date, or he gets his feelings hurt by the smallest things, then that's probably only the tip of the iceberg of his emotional baggage.  And trust me, your affection won't change him, but rather it will only make his emotional instability come to the surface and stay there like a perpetual boil.

6) Don't date a boy that your parents don't like.  This is usually a dead giveaway that girls often ignore.  Your parents will often see things about a boy that you won't always recognize, so for crying out loud, trust their judgment.


Parts of this post are adaptations from a lecture by Alistair Begg.