Providence and Attitude

After Jill's pharmacy sold out and closed, chaos ensued as she changed jobs, took pay cuts, and considered an onslaught of job offers, trying to make a wise decision about her next place of employment.  The offer from the Chickasaw's pharmacy came and that's where she ended up.  The new job was a trade off I didn't completely appreciate.  The health insurance was very good and very affordable, and something we didn't much have.  But as Jill began leaving early and not getting home until six in the evening, I became increasingly frustrated with her need of me to do various household chores.

I started doing the laundry and dishes and vacuuming, after all, loving your wife is what I preached about on Sundays.  Nonetheless, my attitude was greatly lacking as I became gradually discontent with the arrangement God had provided.  It wasn't just the husbandly chores, but Jill was missing important time with her kids after school as they had increasing need of her, especially her daughter.  Then on top of that was the near impossibility of using our home for ministry as I had envisioned before we were married.  As you can see, I had an ungrateful complaining attitude and the spiritual wilderness was getting thick. (see Numbers 14:29)

One evening at dinner William was in his high chair eating when we noticed one of his eyes beginning to cross.  A day or two later Jill and William returned from the eye doctor.  She relayed what the doctor said, that William had very bad eyes and Jill began to cry, and I wanted to.  I still remember when William first tried on his glasses and how he immediately appreciated the difference they made.

We were referred to the Dean McGee Eye Institute where they recommended that we patch his strong eye so that the crossing eye might become stronger and straighten out on its own.  We did that, but the crossing never corrected, so a surgery was recommended.  The surgery was performed (paid for by Jill's insurance)  and it seemed to be successful, and the doctor wanted to see how he did without his glasses.

I carefully watched to see if William showed any signs of poor vision, and as the months and years went by I sort of put it out of my mind until a couple of weeks ago.  William had a check up with his regular pediatrician where he received an eye exam with some hand-held machine I'd never seen before.  After pointing this gadget into each of William's eyes, he determined both were 20/20, or there abouts. 

Needless to say, this triggered no small amount of reflection on my part.  Lord, forgive me of my complaining ungrateful attitude when in the midst of what seemed chaotic and inconvenient you were working a plan to provide for my family's future needs, inspite of the fact that I was too hasseled to see it.