Providence and Attitude

After Jill's pharmacy sold out and closed, chaos ensued as she changed jobs, took pay cuts, and considered an onslaught of job offers, trying to make a wise decision about her next place of employment.  The offer from the Chickasaw's pharmacy came and that's where she ended up.  The new job was a trade off I didn't completely appreciate.  The health insurance was very good and very affordable, and something we didn't much have.  But as Jill began leaving early and not getting home until six in the evening, I became increasingly frustrated with her need of me to do various household chores.

I started doing the laundry and dishes and vacuuming, after all, loving your wife is what I preached about on Sundays.  Nonetheless, my attitude was greatly lacking as I became gradually discontent with the arrangement God had provided.  It wasn't just the husbandly chores, but Jill was missing important time with her kids after school as they had increasing need of her, especially her daughter.  Then on top of that was the near impossibility of using our home for ministry as I had envisioned before we were married.  As you can see, I had an ungrateful complaining attitude and the spiritual wilderness was getting thick. (see Numbers 14:29)

One evening at dinner William was in his high chair eating when we noticed one of his eyes beginning to cross.  A day or two later Jill and William returned from the eye doctor.  She relayed what the doctor said, that William had very bad eyes and Jill began to cry, and I wanted to.  I still remember when William first tried on his glasses and how he immediately appreciated the difference they made.

We were referred to the Dean McGee Eye Institute where they recommended that we patch his strong eye so that the crossing eye might become stronger and straighten out on its own.  We did that, but the crossing never corrected, so a surgery was recommended.  The surgery was performed (paid for by Jill's insurance)  and it seemed to be successful, and the doctor wanted to see how he did without his glasses.

I carefully watched to see if William showed any signs of poor vision, and as the months and years went by I sort of put it out of my mind until a couple of weeks ago.  William had a check up with his regular pediatrician where he received an eye exam with some hand-held machine I'd never seen before.  After pointing this gadget into each of William's eyes, he determined both were 20/20, or there abouts. 

Needless to say, this triggered no small amount of reflection on my part.  Lord, forgive me of my complaining ungrateful attitude when in the midst of what seemed chaotic and inconvenient you were working a plan to provide for my family's future needs, inspite of the fact that I was too hasseled to see it.

A Baptist Comedy Break

Fascinating Christian History

Lesson of Discipleship from William

Since William was old enough to pray in language only God could understand, his sister and I have prayed with him at bedtime, as consistently as possible anyway.  I've always hoped he was listening and might learn something about God in the process.  Tonight I asked him if he wanted to pray and he did, and for the first time he thanked God for dying for our sins.  My son is being discipled, and the more I reflect the more I realize that listening to the prayers of his sister and I is really a very small part of that discipling process.

This discipleship of my kids doesn't happen in a day or a week, and it doesn't happen as a result of another Bible study on Sunday afternoons.  Their discipleship happens as Jill and I's life overlaps theirs, and their discipleship will continue as long as this is true (which by God's grace should for a while). 

This is the model Jesus gave us in the gospels.  His life overlapped the lives of His disciples for three whole years.  They got to observe Him as he interacted with the masses of people, as he confronted the error of the Pharisees, as he showed compassion to the needy, as he taught and preached repentance, and yes, as he prayed to the Father.  Jesus invited the disciples into his life, and he lived his life in their presence, and this is an often overlooked aspect of effective discipleship. 

Perhaps we don't need more Bible studies at church, but more opportunities for our lives to overlap the lives of the undiscipled, opportunities that may initiate an invitation for them to enter our lives, and for us to live our lives in their presence.  Perhaps.

P.S.  Since I've started back to class, my blogging will be fairly rare as I'm swamped with reading and other such studying exercises.  Thank you for reading.

Comfort or Relationships

After picking up William at school, we sat in the parking lot and waited on his sister. Every time a kid William recognized walked by, my son would slide open the van door and yell a hello. And each time I would ask him to shut the door. After about six little kids, six opened door, and six exhortations to keep the door shut, he finally asked, "Why do you want the door to stay shut?" I promptly replied, "Because you're letting the cold air out." And my son, being painfully aware of the obvious said, "It will make more cold air."

After considering his statement, I realized my son cared more about his relationships than his own comfort. So naturally (or not so naturally) I asked myself how much comfort would I give up in order to build relationships.

I can't help but think back to when my life was exceptionally uncomfortable, and how much relationships meant back then. When money was scarce and prosperity was only something you heard TV preachers talk about, relationships were essential because we needed each other to survive. Now that there's a tad more money and life is a bit more prosperous, isolation from people is tad more tempting and bit more common.

It even seems forgiveness was easier when relationships were a necessity to life. Now that we are more self sufficient, and relationships are not the necessity they once were, it seems easier to hold a grudge. Why not hold a grudge? If you don't need a relationship, then it only makes sense to not let it impinge on your comfort.

But scripture teaches us differently, as we are never completely self-sufficient. Oh, we might be able to achieve financial independence, but spiritually we are completely bankrupt apart from a relationship with Christ. And even after we turn from our sins and embrace Christ by faith, we not only still need relationships with other believers for good spiritual health, but we are commanded to make these relationships as we provide each other with accountability and disciple new believers.

So what is more important to you?  Building relationships, or keeping the cold air in?

 

Leaders Respond to Challenges

I just finished serving on a Mission Advance Team for our state convention's board of directors. Up until being asked to serve, I'd maintained more than a professional distance from the Baptist Building, partly due to the time consuming demands of my own meager world of ministry, and partly because of lesser impressive reasons. Therefore this was my first significant exposure to some our leaders at the BGCO while gaining a greater understanding and appreciation for the work they do.

I could express the honor of being asked to work on recommendations that may impact state convention work for years to come, I could talk about the invaluable time spent building relationships with many of the finest church leaders in our state, and I could discuss the leadership experience gleaned from discussing, evaluating, and focusing ideas. Space could easily be used to celebrate any or all these, but instead I'll give some words to the BGCO leaders themselves.

It’s been said that managers do things right while leaders do the right things. Perhaps one of my lesser impressive reasons for not sooner getting to know our state leaders was my simplistic understanding of who they were and what they do.  My understanding has improved.  Recognizing present challenges of economic shifts, the newly evolved landscape of ministry funding, and the intricate sensitivities of Baptist cooperation, our state convention leaders will not merely manage the challenges of our future, but they will lead a response that answers these challenges.

Careful consideration of this response will be everyone’s right and responsibility, and while complete agreement with every jot and tittle is unrealistic, I’m confident the course of action presented will be prayerful, decisive, equal to the task, and very worthy of our support.

To Date or Not To Date, Part 2

What do you look for when you're dating?  For some it's all about straight teeth, clear skin, and stylish clothes.  Physical attraction has its place in choosing who to date, but it's hardly the most important thing.  That's why you should pay attention to the people around you that you may find yourself dating.  Observe how they act when dating others, as that will indicate how they will act if they date you.

One of the major dinosaur tar pits of relationships is the needy person.  They are sometimes referred to as the "walking wounded."  They walk through life secretly nurturing a poor self image.  As a result they suck all the life out of every relationship they ever have.  They drive people crazy as they constantly need affection and validation in order to feel good about themselves.  So the sooner you can recognize needy people, the easier it will be to avoid a serious dating relationship with them, and a subsequent miserable marriage.

One way to recognize a needy date is when they agree with everything you say and like everything you say you like.  Of course they don't.  They just want you to believe the two of you have everything in common, because they want to be accepted by you at all costs.  And don't be surprised if they use the "L" word after only two weeks of dating.

So if you get duped by all this and decide to continue in the relationship, they will probably begin to complain because the two of you aren't close enough, or don't spend enough time together.  They will seek to dominate your schedule, while trying to make you feel guilty for not wanting to spend every waking moment with them.  They will be paranoid about any dating competition and will get jealous at the drop of a hat, often calling every two hours to see where you are, what you're doing, and who you're with.

Another way to recognize a needy person is that they don't have a lot, if any, close friends.  They will be very hard on prospective friendships, because they constantly get their feelings hurt, they demand more time and attention, and they are jealous of other friends.

The bottom line is that needy people are looking for someone to meet their "needs."  And that is not the person you want for a life partner.  Remember, healthy relationships shouldn't be a constant burden that drains you of all your emotional energy, and then just demands more. 

Love "does not seek its own." 1 Corinthians 13:5