Who am I, and does it matter?

I remember watching the movie "Big" where Tom Hanks plays a boy magically transformed into an adult.  At the end of the movie he asks the leading lady if she would like to go with him to be a kid again.  She declined as she alluded to the fact that adolescense was hard enough the first time.  I can certainly relate.

I remember how high school contained groups of kids with various characteristics.  There were the computer guys who were immersed in the rise of technology.  There were the athletes who were born with excessive amounts of coordination.  There were the socially awkward who struggled to fit in anywhere.  There were the glamourous who had more hair than genuine self confidence.  And of course there were the power drinkers and druggies who were likely struggling to cope with some pain or disappointment. 

And this is certainly not an exhaustive list, but it seems obvious the teenage years are where one begins to search for an identity.  Who am I?  Where do I fit in?  These become the almost subconscious questions that drive so much of teenage behavior.  For some, an indentity comes easily as they are inclined in one direction or another because of solid raising or natural ability.  Yet for others, figuring out who they are is a bit more trying for several different reasons.

Whenever God told Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses responded with the question, "Who am I?"  What is interesting is that instead of answering Moses question directly, God told him, "I will certainly be with you."  It seems implied that Moses' identity need not be his main concern as he is redirected to an aspect of God's identity.

In the last few decades we've heard a lot about self-esteem, being the estimation of self.  People either have a high self-esteem, low self-esteem, good self-esteem, or poor self-esteem.  It appears that God presented Moses with the revolutionary idea of no self-esteem, no estimation of self.

So do some people struggle because of a poor self-esteem?  Certainly.  But the key is not to have a higher estimation of yourself, but to stop focusing on yourself altogether.  So stop searching for your identity and begin focusing on God and His identity.  This is one of the big things Jesus did for us when he came.  He revealed God's identity.

In John 14:9 Jesus said, "He who has seen Me has seen the Father."    

Looking for your own identity?  Try discovering God's identity in the Person of Christ in whom we live, move, and have our being.

Real Men

I like knives, guns and action movies.  Am I not a real man?  I like chrome, horsepower and racing stripes.  Does that make me a real man?  I like my own opinion, things the way they are, and feeling superior to others.  Surely this makes me a real man.

By observing many men today, it would appear that all it takes to be a real man is to just do what comes naturally.  Things like drinking lots of beer, neglecting loving wives, and by reminding ungrateful kids at every commercial just how hard they work.  Things like weekly fishing trips, ridiculous purchases, and emotional shallowness.  Things like being too proud to admit being wrong, too insecure to accept correction, and too easily distracted by things that are just not important.

One of my favorite verses is Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another." 

From what I've read, the best way to sharpen a knife is to use steel.  When using a mere stone, the blade can become rough and out of line.  But by using a sharpening steel, the blade will be smoothed out, leaving a nice straight edge.

The same way a sharpening steel will straighten out a blade's edge, a good man can straighten out another good man.  But the truth is most men don't like being challenged by other men.  As a result, they never acquire a sharper, straighter edge; therefore they are less effective, less useful, less equipped for that which they were created.

Might I submit to you that a real man is one who recognizes the value of being challenged by other men, recognizes the value of having his edge straightened out, and recognizes that a real man is one who is continually forged in the crucible of steel-on-steel training and honing and straightening.  A real man recognizes the value of other men, and rather than avoiding their challenge, he welcomes it.

Discussing Religion and Politics

The old cliche says never discuss religion or politics.  Are these two topics somehow cursed by a mysterious gypsy woman, causing all who engage in dialogue regarding these said topics to become indignant and even enraged?  Perhaps aliens from outer space have secretly planted chips at the base of our skulls causing us to automatically become infuriated anytime someone challenges us to think differently about said topics.  Or better yet, maybe we have all fallen victim to secret mind control experiments conducted by our government, and anytime religion or politics are mentioned subconscious triggers are activated causing us to block out any new ideas or perspectives.

Well, as entertaining as those possibilities are, I would like to submit that maybe we are just lousy at discussing.  Often we are too emotionally attached to our own perspective that we are rendered completely unable to reason through points and counterpoints with any degree of humble, rational, logical, serious consideration; much less yield to the more reasonable idea.  As a result, we acquire no better understanding, no deeper knowledge, no personal growth.

Isaiah 1:18 "Come now, and let us reason together," says the Lord...

Providence and Attitude

After Jill's pharmacy sold out and closed, chaos ensued as she changed jobs, took pay cuts, and considered an onslaught of job offers, trying to make a wise decision about her next place of employment.  The offer from the Chickasaw's pharmacy came and that's where she ended up.  The new job was a trade off I didn't completely appreciate.  The health insurance was very good and very affordable, and something we didn't much have.  But as Jill began leaving early and not getting home until six in the evening, I became increasingly frustrated with her need of me to do various household chores.

I started doing the laundry and dishes and vacuuming, after all, loving your wife is what I preached about on Sundays.  Nonetheless, my attitude was greatly lacking as I became gradually discontent with the arrangement God had provided.  It wasn't just the husbandly chores, but Jill was missing important time with her kids after school as they had increasing need of her, especially her daughter.  Then on top of that was the near impossibility of using our home for ministry as I had envisioned before we were married.  As you can see, I had an ungrateful complaining attitude and the spiritual wilderness was getting thick. (see Numbers 14:29)

One evening at dinner William was in his high chair eating when we noticed one of his eyes beginning to cross.  A day or two later Jill and William returned from the eye doctor.  She relayed what the doctor said, that William had very bad eyes and Jill began to cry, and I wanted to.  I still remember when William first tried on his glasses and how he immediately appreciated the difference they made.

We were referred to the Dean McGee Eye Institute where they recommended that we patch his strong eye so that the crossing eye might become stronger and straighten out on its own.  We did that, but the crossing never corrected, so a surgery was recommended.  The surgery was performed (paid for by Jill's insurance)  and it seemed to be successful, and the doctor wanted to see how he did without his glasses.

I carefully watched to see if William showed any signs of poor vision, and as the months and years went by I sort of put it out of my mind until a couple of weeks ago.  William had a check up with his regular pediatrician where he received an eye exam with some hand-held machine I'd never seen before.  After pointing this gadget into each of William's eyes, he determined both were 20/20, or there abouts. 

Needless to say, this triggered no small amount of reflection on my part.  Lord, forgive me of my complaining ungrateful attitude when in the midst of what seemed chaotic and inconvenient you were working a plan to provide for my family's future needs, inspite of the fact that I was too hasseled to see it.

A Baptist Comedy Break

Fascinating Christian History

Lesson of Discipleship from William

Since William was old enough to pray in language only God could understand, his sister and I have prayed with him at bedtime, as consistently as possible anyway.  I've always hoped he was listening and might learn something about God in the process.  Tonight I asked him if he wanted to pray and he did, and for the first time he thanked God for dying for our sins.  My son is being discipled, and the more I reflect the more I realize that listening to the prayers of his sister and I is really a very small part of that discipling process.

This discipleship of my kids doesn't happen in a day or a week, and it doesn't happen as a result of another Bible study on Sunday afternoons.  Their discipleship happens as Jill and I's life overlaps theirs, and their discipleship will continue as long as this is true (which by God's grace should for a while). 

This is the model Jesus gave us in the gospels.  His life overlapped the lives of His disciples for three whole years.  They got to observe Him as he interacted with the masses of people, as he confronted the error of the Pharisees, as he showed compassion to the needy, as he taught and preached repentance, and yes, as he prayed to the Father.  Jesus invited the disciples into his life, and he lived his life in their presence, and this is an often overlooked aspect of effective discipleship. 

Perhaps we don't need more Bible studies at church, but more opportunities for our lives to overlap the lives of the undiscipled, opportunities that may initiate an invitation for them to enter our lives, and for us to live our lives in their presence.  Perhaps.

P.S.  Since I've started back to class, my blogging will be fairly rare as I'm swamped with reading and other such studying exercises.  Thank you for reading.