Gender Roles: Who Submits to Whom?

I saw a commercial for Buffy the Vampire Slayer the other day in which a feminist observed how Buffy fulfilled her warrior calling with the same kind method and nuance as any other male.  That may be true for heroine of Joss Whedon’s cult hit, but is it true of women in general?  Is there any differentiation in the roles of men and women, particular in a marriage?

          Marriage vows used to look much different in days gone by.  Certain things were asked of the man, while different things were asked of the woman.  Yet today, marriage vows tend to be identical for each gender. 

          The Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:22-23, “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.” 

          Paul’s teaching about the roles of husbands and wives was quite revolutionary at the time, as the prevalent culture didn’t see men and women as equal.  Yet at the same time, it’s revolutionary in our culture that tends to see men and women as the same without any distinct roles or callings.  So even though there’s some overlapping in being male and female, they each are still distinguishable ways of being human with distinguishable gifts and callings in marriage. 

          Notice Paul doesn’t tell wives to love their husbands, but to respect him.  He doesn’t tell husbands to respect their wives, but to love them.  He tells husband and wives both to submit in verse 21, but then tells the wives to submit a second time in verse 22.   The wife is not told to work for the perfection of her husband so she can present him before the throne, spotless and without blemish. 

          So does this mean that the wives don’t have to love their husband, but just respect them?  Or that a wife is not supposed to work for her husband’s maturity and sanctification?  Of course it can’t mean that because those things are taught in other places.  So the only reason Paul would lay out these different instructions is because men and women are good and bad at different things.  Recognizing this, Paul emphasized different things for each, because each possesses different gifts and roles. 

          Contrary to the Buffy enthusiast, there’s plenty of evidence that men and women will go about the same job in different ways.  Tim Keller quoted a study that concluded, “Men tend to see themselves maturing as they separate and become independent and make an impact.  Women see themselves maturing as they attach to others and become interdependent.”  In other words, men have the gift of independence, while women have the gift of interdependence, which seems to fit well with what scripture says. 

          Now with the obvious differences between husbands and wives, a lot of the more conservative believers will assemble a long list of specific and very stereotypical roles.  They may say that the husband should work and the wife should stay home with the children.  I know many couples that make that work them, and that’s wonderful.  But where does the Bible specifically say that?  Or that the woman cooks, and the man is in charge of the checkbook?  That works for some marriages, and that’s good for them.  But where does the Bible specifically say that?

          Before the industrial age, husbands and wives both stayed home and worked to produce goods together, whether it was farming or raising livestock or making clothes.  They both worked to produce goods and they both raised the children.  It wasn’t until the industrial age that for the first time someone had to get up and leave the home to go to place of work.  The husband usually went to off to work while the wife stayed home and raised the children.  Yet the Bible doesn’t nail itself down into those kinds of specifics for the roles of husbands and wives.

          Proverbs 31 talks about a woman of worth.  She into real estate and investments, she does sewing and child rearing, and there’s no reason to think that her husband was doing all those things with her.  So when we talk about the Bible’s teaching regarding the traditional family, we cannot hone the Bible to the traditions of one particular place in history.  In light of this, there seems to be great amount of freedom in how a wife contributes to her home and to her family.

          When Paul says in vs. 22, “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife,” he is referring us back to Genesis with the important word, “head.” 

          This word has a primary meaning of “source.”  It could be used to refer to the headwaters of a river, being the river’s source.  The Greed word here for “head” is just like our word, “authority.”  If I write a piece of poetry, I am the author.  Therefore since I am the source of the poetry, I have the authority to inform you of what the poetry is about.  So when Paul is referring back to Genesis where Eve is taken out of Adam, Adam is in a sense the source and headwaters of Eve.  So when Paul says what he says, it is because of the way things were set up at creation.

          In the first chapters of Genesis, there are two things crucial for understanding marriage.  First, the man and woman were created as namer and helper.  Secondly, husband and wife’s original nature of being a namer and a helper was cursed and corrupted because of sin. 

          God tells Adam to name the animals.  In the Bible, naming something was to take charge of shaping its character and purpose.  A parent would name a child because the name reflected the kind of child they would hopefully grow up to be.  God would change a person’s name when he would change their nature. 

          When God creates Adam to name the animals, he obviously wants him to have an impact on shaping the character of the world.  Eve, on the other hand, was created to be a helper.  The problem is that we tend to think of a helper as being weak without the ability to really contribute much.  We tend to think of how a child might help his dad build a doghouse.  He can’t really help, but he can get the hammer for his dad and maybe hand him a nail or two. 

          Biblically the word “help” is an extremely sophisticated term that is almost always used of God, as God is our help in time of trouble (Psalm 46:1).  A helper, therefore, is someone with power and resources you don’t have.   Eve, being created as Adam’s helper, implies weaknesses and deficiencies in Adam that Eve doesn’t have, and that Eve possesses power and resources that Adam doesn’t have.

          For example, I can help my son with his math because I know more about math than he does, but there’s two ways that I can help him.  I can bring my help in such a way as to enable and empower him, or I can bring my help in such a way as to replace him where I just do the math for him.  And yet if I do it for him, I’m not really helping him.  Therefore, a wife has the gift of using her strength and power in such a way as to enable and empower her husband.   

          This doesn’t mean that women don’t name animals or that men aren’t supposed to help their wives.  But each has a gift that makes them strong in certain areas.  When we talk about women having a gift of interdependence while men have a gift of independence, we don’t mean that women are to never be independent or that men are never to be interdependent.  We are talking about things in which each gender excels, therefore when a husband and wife come together, they complete each other.  They each have strengths that fill in the gaps of the other’s weaknesses. 

          So the first basic truth from Genesis is that men and women are created differently.  The second basic truth is that they and their strengths have been corrupted by sin.

          God says to Eve in Genesis 3:16, “I will intensify your labor pains; you will bear children in anguish.  Your desire will be for your husband, yet he will rule over you.”

          God says to Adam in verses 17-19, “The ground is cursed because of you.  You will eat from it by means of painful labor all the days of your life.  It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field.  You will eat bread by the sweat of your brow until you return to the ground.” 

          Notice that when God curses humanity, he curses each gender differently.  He curses Adam’s work so that Adam’s desire to subdue and bring order to his world by way of his work will become an idol.  In other words, his work will become too important to him.  It will be a continual source of frustration because it will never really fulfill him. 

          God then curses Eve’s relationships.  She will desire her husband desperately, but he will want to dominate her.  Her gift of interdependence is corrupted into dependence where she wants to be taken care of.  Adam’s gift of independence is corrupted into tyranny. 

          So the traditionalist that rails on about the husband’s need to rule over his wife and get his wife under control is forgetting the curse.  They are forgetting the fact that men will tend to oppress women and that women will tend to make it easy for them.  Their fallen natures and corrupted gifts can feed off each other in destructive cycles. 

          The fact is that men and women in marriage are supposed to learn to submit to one another, and the husband is supposed to have a loving authority.  The wife is to use her helpership to continually pull her husband back from tyranny and autonomy, while the husband is use his strength to pull his wife back from dependence and helplessness. 

          So what then is a wife’s submission to her husband?  I must be tie-breaking authority.  The traditionalists believe the wife is the submitter while the husband makes all the decisions for the family.  Yet marriage, being the ultimate friendship between two people where iron sharpens iron, there will be contention at times as each one grabs the other and pulls them away from the corrupt use of their gifts.   

          So normally in marriage, the husband and wife will sit together and try to figure out what the best decision is.  But what happens when they just can’t agree?  What happens when a decision has to be made?  What if you’re trying to decide what school the kids should attend, or what house to buy, or what neighborhood to live in?  What if it’s a decision that will impact the whole family, but an agreement can’t be reached?  The Bible’s answer is to let the husband break the tie.

          When the husband initiates loving leadership in his home, and the wife ultimately and graciously defers to her husband, the Bible says that they are getting in touch with something deep inside that dates back to creation.  The two of them are becoming more masculine and more feminine, and together a more complete image of God.  As a result, the marriage is strengthened, the next generation is discipled, and God is glorified.  

Are You So Blind?

          Being blind to spiritual truth is a tricky thing.  No one wants to admit to their blindness, yet we are all quick to see it in others.  In a passage illustrating the reality of just how spiritually blind we all are, Jesus asked his disciples a probing question.

          Mark 8:29, “‘But you,’” He asked them again, ‘who do you say that I am?’  Peter answered Him, ‘You are the Messiah!’”

          The miracle right before this exchange is quite unique as it appears that Jesus’ healing power doesn’t work as advertised.  It appears to take two applications of Jesus’ healing power to disseminate this man’s blindness.

          Mark is illustrating for us the realities of spiritual blindness that plague us all.  Placing this passage in the context of the whole chapter, we see in verses 1-8 that the disciples don’t see Jesus clearly.  Verses 11-21 reveal also the blindness of the Pharisees and religious leaders to the magnitude of who Jesus is. 

          Verse 21, “And He said to them, ‘Don’t you understand yet?’”

          Mark puts this healing miracle right in the middle of these two groups of people who fail to understand who Jesus is.  And after this strange demonstration of power by Jesus, Peter finally begins to get it.  Therefore the scholars see this account as more than just a miracle, but also a parable.

          Jesus didn’t do cookie cutter healings.  Sometimes he puts spit on the eyes or ears.  Sometimes he says something, and sometimes he says nothing at all.  Sometimes he does it from a distance with only a thought.  So when Jesus does something special in his miracle process, we are seeing special teaching moments. 

Here we see Jesus teaching us that no one will be able to see who Jesus really is without divine intervention.  This chapter demonstrates the spiritual blindness of the disciples and the religious leaders, and that covers everyone. 

          The Bible doesn’t divide people up into good and bad.  There’s no good people who see and love and live the truth, while the bad people are blind to the truth and resist the truth.  But rather Jesus’ friends as well as his enemies suffer from the inability to see spiritual truth. 

          The commentators agree that this passage is trying to show that it takes more than one touch from Jesus to cure spiritual blindness.  The inability to see spiritual truth is pervasive and deeply entrenched in every human heart.  Therefore the remedy comes in stages with multiple touches from the Lord.  In other words, the cure for our spiritual blindness is a process of revealing and illumination. 

          Yet, even when our spiritual sight is cleared up enough to see who Jesus really is and to have a relationship with him, our sight is still not clear enough to actually live the life Christ would have us live.  This blindness is so deep in our hearts that is doesn’t clear up all at once.

          Now if we believe what the scripture is illustrating for us about spiritual blindness, then we have no grounds for being impatient or feeling superior to those who don’t spiritually see as well as we do.  We have no reason to look down our nose at those who don’t believe like we do or as much as we do.  We should never get irritable with them or impatient with them. 

          And yet when we feel so sure of something, our heart naturally wants to say, “You’re a fool for being so blind to the truth.”  But if spiritual sight is ultimately a gift from God, then we have no grounds for superiority.  In fact, forgetting that our sight is given to us by God is a kind of blindness itself.  The paradox is that you know your spiritual sight is clearing up when you recognize just how unclear it is.

          I look at myself ten years ago and see how foolish I was in one respect or another.  And yet I will do the same thing ten more years from now.  In other words, I’m foolish to some degree right now, even though I won’t see it clearly until later looking back on it.  Therefore how in the world can we look at someone else and say, "You fool."

          Jesus actually has a place in the Sermon on the Mount where he talks about how evil it is to curse people in our heart and call them a fool.  To do so testifies of one’s ignorance about the Bible’s teaching regarding the gift of spiritual sight.  So if you believe and see with a degree of clarity, don't be grumpy with people who don’t see as clearly yet. 

          Christianity is not a religion in the sense of merely doing observances and practices.  True Christianity that changes you is where a relationship with Jesus is established.  And like all relationships, if the other person doesn’t allow you to see who they are, then you’re not having a real relationship.  You don’t just start doing all the right practices, but you have to come to Jesus and ask to see him more clearly and to see what is in his heart for you. 

          I’ve always known it was healthy to drink lots of water, but for years I mostly drank Dr. Pepper and coffee.  But then I had a bout of kidney stones, incapacitating me for three weeks.  Now I drink water.  I knew what could happen, but in another sense I didn’t know. 

          Similarly, there is no one who begins to see spiritually who doesn’t look back and say, “In one sense I knew better, but I didn’t really see.  I had heard that a hundred times, but one day it suddenly became real.”  This is process of seeing Jesus and then seeing more of Jesus.

          Verse 24-25, “Spitting on his eyes and laying His hands on him, He asked him, ‘Do you see anything?’  He looked up and said, ‘I see people—they look to me like trees walking.’  Again Jesus placed His hands on the man’s eyes, and he saw distinctly.  He was cured and could see everything clearly.” 

It is clear that Jesus heals the man in stages, showing us that our spiritual blindness is remedied by a whole long process.  We can often become discouraged by Paul’s conversion experience as he seems to go from new believer to mature believer almost overnight.  But there’s another Apostle with a different conversion experience.  We see in this passage that Peter gets some clarity to his spiritual sight, but then almost immediately Jesus rebukes him because his sight isn’t completely clear yet.  And at some point Peter crosses over from death to life, ceasing to trust in himself and beginning to trust in Christ.  But it’s almost impossible to say exactly when it happens.

          If we spend all our time looking at Paul’s conversion, we can get filled with self-doubts quickly.  Therefore we should look at this story and ask, “Was the man healed or not?”  Yes, he was healed, but not until he admitted that he only saw people walking around like trees.  And Jesus touched him again. 

          So instead of being filled with self-doubts, maybe you should be more dissatisfied with your level of spiritual sight.  Then you could come to Jesus seeking to know him more.  Or instead of expecting everyone to mature instantly like Paul appears to, you could come to Jesus for even more clarity of sight.  And as a result, you would stop cutting people down who look like trees and then talking to them as if they were stumps. 

          So if you don’t drastically change like Paul, don’t think that Jesus isn't working in your life at all.  Because you are not capable of being dissatisfied with your spiritual sight unless God has already cleared it up some.

          Verse 22, “Then they came to Bethsaida. They brought a blind man to Him and begged Him to touch him.”

On his own, it doesn't appear this blind man would have found Jesus.  But his friends, who could see Jesus, brought him.  We like to keep our weakness private, and we certainly hate admitting we may be wrong.  And when someone asks if we see correctly, we tend to tell them to mind their own business.  But you have to spend time with people who see more clearly than you.  I value my time at seminary immensely.  The professors were wonderful, but I dare say that the best learning came when friends and I gathered together to process our theology. 

          Verse 29, “And He strictly warned them to tell no one about Him.”

          Jesus knows eventually that word of his power will get to the Roman and Jewish authorities, and they will have to kill him.  Every time Jesus uses his redemptive power, he is putting nails in his own coffin. 

Mark 15:33-34, “When it was noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon.  And at three Jesus cried out with a loud voice, ‘Eloi, Eloi, lemá sabachtháni?’ which is translated, ‘My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?’”
          There was an absolute darkness on the cross, but it was only a physical representation of the spiritual darkness into which Jesus was plunged.  Why?  Because Jesus was willing to be plunged into the darkness of God’s wrath that we may know the light of God's love.

          If this moves you, then you will begin to stop worrying about whose criticizing you or disagreeing with you.  If this moves you, then you will look down your nose less and up to God more.  If this moves you, then you will feel less superior to those who see less, and less threatened by those who try to help you see more.  If this moves you, then you will want to sacrifice for others and live for Christ, no longer consumed about what’s in it for you or how comfortable you are.  If this moves you, and you feel yourself really beginning to change, then it’s because God is graciously adding clarity to your spiritual sight.

Its one thing to know God is with you in suffering, but…

         

         Nothing is more inevitable in life than suffering and grief.  In the Bible, Job was a devout believer in God, a pillar in his community, and suddenly everything was taken away from him.  He lost his wealth, health, family, and he himself was plunged into existential darkness. 

          In the mid chapters Job probes the depths of his grief, expressing confusion and anger.  But there’s one place where Job reaches a high point of remarkable insight as he comes to grips with resources to help him face his terrible suffering and anguish.

            Job 13:20, 24 “Only grant these two things to me, God, so that I will not have to hide from Your presence… Why do You hide Your face and consider me Your enemy?”

          Job doesn’t want to have to hide from God, and he doesn’t want God to hide from him.  So what is that for which Job is looking?

          Verse 22, “Then call, and I will answer.”

          Job wants to be brought in to God’s presence.  If Job has sinned against God, then he wants it dealt with, because he doesn’t want God to be his enemy.  He wants to know that God is with him in this suffering.  He wants to know that God has not abandoned him and left him to die alone in his grief.

          In the earlier chapters, Job was asking for an explanation for why he was suffering, but here it’s not primarily answers he seeks.  He wants the personal presence of God.  He wants to know that God is walking with him in this darkness. 

          When my friend lost his wife and daughter in a tragic accident, his grief was not an intellectual puzzle.  It was a journey.  Last year, a few women ran across the Sahara Desert to raise awareness for human potential.  The Sahara is the world in its extreme.  There is no place on earth as dry and hot and hostile.  When making such a difficult journey, one spends very little time thinking about the map.  Rather one thinks about the stamina necessary to make such a journey, and whether he or she possesses such strength.   

          Job no longer spent all his time looking for an explanation for his pain.  He was no longer asking the why question of suffering.  But rather the how question.  How can he find the strength to endure this journey and get to wherever it leads? 

          When people think about what you have done for them during the course of their lives, most of the time it won’t be the information you tried to give them that they will remember.  Instead they will recall how you sat with them in the ER waiting room when their child was in an accident.  Or they will remember how you came to the jail and sat with them when their son had been arrested. 

          During those times they didn’t need a map of information, theological or otherwise.  What they needed was somebody who was with them in it and walking with them thru it.  They needed the presence of someone who loved them

          Job realizes that even if he had the answers, he could still die crossing that desert.  But what he needed was the strength of knowing that God loved him and was with him.  Because he knows if he has that, he can handle everything else.    

          Only Christianity says that God didn’t respond to suffering with a philosophical discourse or theological lecture.  But rather God came Himself.  Only Christianity has the audacity to say that God in Jesus Christ came down and entered into this world of suffering.  He has been lonely, betrayed, tortured and killed.  In other words, God didn’t merely give us information, but rather He came down to the ER.  He came down the county jail.

          Job 14:7, “There is hope for a tree: If it is cut down, it will sprout again, and its shoots will not die.”
          Job introduces and important biblical concept related to suffering.  College botany taught me that vitality and productivity requires pruning and stress.  If you take a fruit tree and you just let have a happy stress-free life, it won’t be very fruitful.  But instead you have hack at it and cut off its beauty and all its leaves and flowers.  It will look like its being destroyed.  But only if it is cut and stressed by the process of pruning will it become thicker and stronger and fuller with more fruit and greater beauty.  In the same way, suffering produces greater glory. 

          Paul wrote in, 2 Corinthians 4:16-17, “Therefore we do not give up; even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.”

          When those who have endured suffering in this life get around people who haven’t suffered, often they recognize an emotional and spiritual shallowness.  They don’t have glory, and when the troubles come like a flood, they are swept away, giving in to bitterness and defensiveness and coldness, resenting the happiness and success of others, convinced that they deserve better.

          This is the challenge of glory.  When suffering and grief comes to you, God has his hands in the clay, forming you into someone with staying power.  You will be more beautiful, bearing more fruit. 

          Now you may be hoping for something more than this knowledge of God’s pruning activity to give you strength when you are hurting.  Job seems to be hoping for something more as well. 

          Verses 10-12, “But a man dies and fades away; he breathes his last—where is he?  As water disappears from the sea and a river becomes parched and dry, so man lies down never to rise again. They will not wake up until the heavens are no more; they will not stir from their sleep.”

          In other words, there may be hope for a tree that is pruned, but Job feels like he is beyond pruning.  Job feels he is being destroyed and will eventually die.  He doesn’t see any hope. 

          Verses 13-15, “If only You would hide me in Sheol [the grave] and conceal me until Your anger passes, that You would appoint a time for me and then remember me.  When a man dies, will he come back to life?  If so, I would wait all the days of my struggle until my relief comes.  You would call, and I would answer You.”

          The word for struggle is used to describe prison labor.  Job believes that he will go into the grave and pay his debt.  And afterward, he hopes that God will remember him and bring him relief from the grave.  But dead men don’t get relieved from the grave.  So why would Job have any hope of being resurrected from the dead?

          Verse 15, “You would call, and I would answer You. You would long for the work of Your hands.”

          Job has come to believe that God loves him.  He believes God’s love to be so unstoppable that He wouldn’t let Job stay dead.  Job knows that if God is as great as he knows He is, and therefore His love is as great as he knows it to be, then someday God will call and Job will be restored.

          Centuries later, Jesus Christ stood at the tomb of his friend Lazarus.  Jesus wept, longing for His friend.  Jesus knew the religious leaders were watching.  He knew that if He did what he wanted to do, the religious leaders would see no choice but to kill him. 

          In other words, Jesus knew the only way He could get Lazarus out of the grave was to put Himself into it.  Jesus did the prison labor in the grave of Sheol, translated as Hades in the New Testament.  Jesus was immersed into death, receiving all the ultimate suffering and grieving we deserve.  He did this so you would trust that he loves you.  Then he rose from the dead so you would know that the price for your sin and rebellion against God has been paid in full. 

          I believe that is what Jesus meant when he said in Matthew 16:18, “…and on this rock I will build My church, and the forces of Hades will not overpower it.”

          When Jesus calls, those who trusted in him will come forth, for death will not overpower us.  Why is this so powerful a resource when we are suffering?  Because it’s one thing to know that God is with you, but it’s another thing to know that He is with you forever.

Image Credit: www.thatgirltasha.com/

What Is Wrong With You?

A question that has often been asked is, “What is wrong with us?”  If that question doesn’t burn in your heart from time to time, then your head is really in the sand.  The answer according the Bible is that to a great degree we underestimate something.

          You can point to just about any crime drama or Hollywood movie and see how predicaments are created because someone always underestimates the bad guys.  God tells us that we cannot afford to underestimate the nature of sin that lies within the human heart. 

          Genesis 4:7says, “But if you do not do right, sin is crouching at the door.  Its desire is for you, but you must master it.” 

          So what is wrong with us?  It’s not just sin, but it’s also our tendency to underestimate sin.  Consider sin’s ability to become invisible as it’s “crouching at the door.”  In other words, sin’s very nature is deceptive as it hides itself.  This word for “crouching” is almost always used of wild animals.  When I was a kid and didn’t fully recognize the uselessness of cats, we had a few cats around the place.  They were playful and mischievous and soft and cuddly, but if they ever spotted a June bug, suddenly they transported back to the jungles of Africa as they crouched down low with his gaze locked onto the prey.  He pushed himself down in order to look smaller than he really was.   

          God is telling us that our sin, by its nature, always looks smaller than it really is.  As a result, in the midst of your very ordinary life and very ordinary church, there is a wild beast.

          In this passage, Cain was experiencing what seems like some very ordinary and justifiable feelings.  Stinking Abel, he’s always been so straight laced and everyone’s favorite, and I’m tired of it. Those seem like very ordinary feelings, but Cain doesn’t see what’s at the heart of those feelings.  Because there is something crouching down in the midst of that very ordinary grudge, hiding itself from view. 

          Cain and Abel were brothers, and they both came to God with an offering.  Theologians tell us that the Hebrew word here speaks of a dedication offering, taking something that belonged to you and giving it to God as a symbol of your whole self and everything you have belonging to God.  It’s like giving your spouse a wedding ring.  It comes out of your possessions, but it’s a symbol of giving your whole self to your spouse.

          But what if a man offers a woman a ring, but the whole time he’s been dating other women?  She would say, “This isn’t love, this is bribery.  And you want all of me, but you’re not willing        to give me all of you.”

          So when you come to worship, and you give God your prayers, and you give God your offerings, unless you back it up with your life, it’s not love and worship.  Its bribery. 

          First John 3:12, “… unlike Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother.  And why did he murder him?  Because his works were evil, and his brother’s were righteous.”

          It was the works behind the offering that was Cain’s problem.  Cain was just like the average person in church today.  He wasn’t a drug dealer and he wasn’t running prostitutes.  He was merely a half-hearted person who wants to come to church and sort of pay God off, but when it comes down to living life, he wants to do it his way.

          Cain was like the man who submitted to God at church, but didn’t submit to God at work.  Or like the woman who submitted to God in Sunday school, but not in her home.  Like the teenagers submitting to God on Wednesday nights, but not to their teachers at school.

          On the other hand, Abel was whole hearted.  He strived to submit to God in every area of life, so God regarded Able and didn’t regard Cain. 

          As a result, verse 5, “Cain was furious, and he was downcast.” 

            At the heart of that ordinary half-heartedness is a demanding spirit with a dominating sense that God owes you.  In time, that can evolve into you trampling over other people because you feel like you’ve got a right to do so.  The wild beast that is at the center of ordinary half-heartedness is most clearly seen when life doesn’t go your way.

          When a worshipper of God finds life not going well, they may get confused or discouraged, and they may even grieve as they ask God why?  But when a briber of God finds life not going well, he or she gets exceedingly angry because they feel like they deserve better due to all their past religious activity. 

          This sin crouches and hides itself well.  Consider that the worst sins in your life look much smaller to you than they do to anyone else.  For example, if you have a great marriage or great friends who will tell you when you ask them, “What’s bad about me?”  You’ll be amazed at how clearly they can see things that you barely see or even notice. 

          Notice verse 7, “If you do right, won’t you be accepted? But if you do not do right, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you.”

          Sins stay around and wait for you because their desire is to devour you.  For instance, when you lie, you’ll discover something happening inside you, because sin has an addiction element.  When you lie, you’ll find that you’ll want to lie again, and you’ll find that lying becomes easier.  When you ruin someone’s reputation, you’ll find that you want to ruin someone else’s reputation, and that ruining reputations becomes easier.  When you do something unthinkable, it’s amazing how fast it becomes thinkable.

          So at this point, you may be asking, “Why did I decide read this blog?  It is so depressing.”  One reason is because your sin is after you, and you’d better not underestimate it.  Secondly, you must realize you need a Savior. 

          Verse 7, “Its desire is for you, but you must master it.”  

          Notice we see hope as God appeals to Cain by asking, “Why are you furious? And why are you downcast?”  There have been too many Christians with an attitude toward sinners that was terribly condemning.  Yet God asked Adam and Eve, “Where are you?”  He asked Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry?”  And He says to Cain, “Let’s think about this.  Do you not see that your real enemy is not Abel, but it’s your sin?” 

          Cain was not miserable because of what had happened to him, but because of what was in him.  God comes to all of us and says, “Do you know why you’re cast down and so angry?”  Maybe you’ve been mistreated, but you’re not miserable because of what has been done to you.  You are miserable because of your response to what has been done to you.”

          It’s our self-pity, anger, bitterness, refusal to forgive, pride, or hurt feelings.  But when you realize that the misery you experience is due to how you responded, then you realize there is hope. 

          So God comes to you and challenges you to repent.  Because if sin is your problem, then you can master it, but if Abel is your problem, then all you can do is attack him.  If your spouse is your problem, then you can divorce or throw something, but if your sin is the problem, then there’s hope.  Even after Cain has killed Abel, there is still hope as God comes one more time.

          Verse 9, “Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”  God is not looking for information, He is looking for repentance.  Yet Cain reply shows that sin has devoured him.  “I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s guardian?”

          God says in verse 10, “What have you done? Your brother’s blood cries out to Me from the ground!” 

          When we, in our sin, destroy relationships, destroy people, destroy reputations, the ruin of God’s creation cries out.  God takes Cain to the pool of Abel’s blood that cries out for justice. 

          But what if Cain had repented?  What if you repent?  What if you said today, “My problem is my sin.  It’s not what was done to me.  It’s not my spouse.  It’s not because I was born into the wrong family.”

          If you will repent, then God will take you to another pool of blood that is also crying out.  You see, the ultimate Abel, who was also hated for his righteousness, was Jesus. 

          Hebrews 12:24, “…to Jesus, and to the sprinkled blood, which says better things than the blood of Abel.”

          All human blood cries out that sin must be paid for, but the blood of Jesus cries out that sin has been paid for.  If you don’t repent, the ruins of all the people that you’ve hurt are crying out for justice.  But if you do repent, God takes you to the ruin of His Son which cries out, “Justice has been done and you can be forgiven.”

Help for the Wounded Spirit

          Among many adequate definitions, one way to describe wisdom is competence for the complex realities of life.  Our pride makes it very temping for us to try to boil everything down to simply evaluations.  Yet, the longer I live the more naiveté goes out the window as I realize that very few problems are as simple as I would like.

          Consider the complexities of the human heart.  We’ve all experienced very powerful and conflicting feelings that we’ve struggled to sort out and deal with adequately.  Feelings and emotions roil and rage and almost overwhelm us while we feel impotent in our efforts to change them.

          Proverbs 18:14 says, “A man’s spirit can endure sickness, but who can survive a broken spirit?”  The word for spirit is often translated as wind and it carries the idea of power and energy.  And when it is used in the context of the human heart, it speaks of our mental energy and emotional power to live life.  A person’s spirit is that part of them that should want to engage life and live life fully.

          But what happens when a person’s spirit is broken?  A broken spirit shies away from life with no desire for it and no joy in it.  Of course one person’s spirit can be more broken than another’s.  One can be merely discouraged while the other can have no more desire to live.

And when this Proverb says, “A man’s spirit can endure sickness, but who can survive a broken spirit,” it’s saying that when a person’s spirit is strong, one can endure physical afflictions, but a broken spirit can’t be endured no matter how physically healthy one may be.

          When Paul wrote to the New Testament churches, those churches were being persecuted as whole families were being taken to jail.  Yet, whenever Paul prays for them, he never prays that the trials would end or that families would stop going to jail.  Instead he says in Ephesians 3:16, “I pray that He may grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man.”

Paul understood that if all your life is falling apart and broken, but your inner spirit is strong, then you are able to live life with strength.

          Now in light of this, do we understand the priority we must place on the health of our inner life?  Our spirit?  That part of us that can provide us with strength regardless of how difficult everything becomes?  Do you see how important it is to deposit grace into your inner spirit?  Proverbs reminds us that it is foolish to not give adequate attention to the health of our inner life.

          The question then becomes: what can we do to maintain good spiritual health?  Or what contributes to a broken spirit?  How do we get so powerless to manage our feelings and emotions until we are completely disheartened and despondent?

          The biblical answer is that it’s complicated.  The human heart, the inner spirit is complex and therefore requires wisdom.  First, a broken spirit may have a physical aspect as Proverbs 14:30 says, “A tranquil heart is life to the body, but jealousy is rottenness to the bones.”  Doctors have told us for years that poor emotional health can lead to poor physical health, implying also that poor physical health can contribute to poor emotion health.  Not getting enough sleep, a poor diet, a lack of exercise can all facilitate brokenness in spirit.

          Secondly, a broken spirit may have a relational aspect.  Proverbs 12:25, “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up.”  I can’t tell you how many times I have had my countenance lifted by the kind words of the people to which I minister.  Yet the most valuable has always been my wife’s willingness to put her arms around me and make my leading of our home a joy rather than a battle.  And because of the relational nature, sometimes we just need the nearness and support of others.

          Thirdly, a broken spirit may have a moral aspect.  Proverbs 28:1, “The wicked flee when no one is pursuing them, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.”  This is your guilty conscience speaking when you know you done something wrong.  And even when no one is pursuing you, guilt can make you a defensive person in general.  When someone criticizes you, you may feel assaulted because you already have a bad conscience.  You constantly feel the need to defend yourself for whatever part you may have played in the deterioration of a relationship even though no one has accused you of anything.  Your guilty conscience can make you feel like you need to flee even if no one is chasing you.

          Fourthly, a broken spirit may have a philosophical aspect.  Proverbs 14:13, “Even in laughter a heart may be sad, and joy may end in grief.”  We all know that the fun will be over eventually.  The back yard barbeques and watching our kids grow and all the joys of life eventually come to a halt.  We all know that eventually someone in our family will stand at the final graveside.  Blasé Pascal said that one of the things that people think about the most while talking about the least is the fact that there is a death on the horizon that we cannot escape.  Unless you can find a philosophical category that helps you cope with death, no matter how much fun you have, sadness and grief are always waiting over the horizon.  Your broken spirit may be fueled by your lack of answers as you ask, “Why do I exist?  Why do I die?”

          If anything can be said about our inner spirit, we can say it’s complex.  You may need medicine, or love, or repentance, or answers, or a combination of all.

          Finally, a broken spirit may have a hope aspect.  Proverbs 15:13, “A joyful heart makes a face cheerful, but a sad heart produces a broken spirit.”  In the Bible your heart is that part of you that looks for something to live for, something in which to invest yourself while hoping that it will give your life meaning and significance.  And you say to yourself, “If I can get that, then I will feel like I matter.”  This verse reminds us that putting our hope in something, whether it be our success or a romantic relationship or the approval of people or raising a family, that those things will inevitably disappoint us.  And because that was the thing for which we lived, when it fail us, our spirits will break.

          Proverbs 14:10 says, “The heart knows its own bitterness, and no outsider shares in its joy.”  The ups and downs of your heart are so complex that no one else will really understand you.  Proverbs 16:2, “All a man’s ways seem right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the motives.”  Even you don’t understand your inner spirit completely.  In other words, there is no human being who can adequately assess all the emotional and spiritual turmoil you may be experiencing.  Therefore, if you don’t have a real sense of knowing God personally, and knowing His nearness to the brokenhearted, then in a real sense you on your own in this world.  One commentator said, “God is the only one who can walk with you in every dark valley and understand you completely.”

          Now let’s consider the healing of a broken spirit.  In Genesis there was a tree of life in the middle of the Garden of Eden.  Theologians tell us this tree represented the complete fulfillment of the human heart’s deepest desires.  Yet, as we read the account in Genesis, we see that the human race lost the tree of life.  Genesis 3:24, “He drove man out, and east of the Garden of Eden He stationed cherubim with a flaming, whirling sword to guard the way to the tree of life.”  When we decided to look away from God in an effort to find fulfillment elsewhere, we lost the tree of life.  We lost the one relationship that could truly meet our heart’s deepest desires.

          Proverbs 13:12 says, “Delayed hope makes the heart sick, but fulfilled desire is a tree of life.”  The things in this world we set our hearts upon in hopes of filling the emptiness inside will always leave us feeling emptier.  When we look into our hearts, we see that we are longing for something we’ll never find in this world.  But there is a tree of life that will do for us what no created thing will do.

          When Jesus died on the cross, he said, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  This is a quote from Psalm 22 which has another verse that says, “My heart is like wax, melting within me.”  That verse is describing a broken spirit.  In other words, the cross became a tree of life as the Son of God was eternally crushed in spirit so that our spirit could one day be eternally healed.

          As devastating and as painful and as grieving as a wounded and broken spirit can be, it is only a shadow of that which awaits us in eternity since we have rejected our creator that we may pursue the creation.  Yet, this is what Jesus stepped into upon the cross.  Imagine what it was like for Him to experience the ultimate and eternal brokenness of which ours is only a shadow.  And He did it because He loves you.  My friend, trust in this Savior, the One who would rather go to hell for you than go to heaven without you.  And let the reality of this demonstration of His great love be what begins to heal your brokenness and fulfill your heart’s deepest longings.

Image Credit: www.goodsalt.com

First Baptist Allen on Alcohol

         

 Our church recently changed its covenant statement on the use of alcohol.  The old wording forbid church members from participating in the use or sale of alcohol, while the new statement forbids the abuse of any substance whether alcohol or drugs while abstaining from any behavior that might harm the conscience of another. 

          The key to dealing with doctrine and Christian ethics is to remember that sinful man, Christian or otherwise, is not a reliable guide.  Imagine if God left us to ourselves with no inspired word to guide us into his heart and mind.  We wouldn’t just have different denominations, but one’s Christianity would truly be a private affair as each individual would be left to determine for themselves what faith required.  I would likely be forced to plant the First Church of Chad Kaminski with me as the only member.

          Yet, by God’s grace and infinite wisdom, he has given us his word.  Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path.”  Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 3:16, "All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work."  

          It is so easy for the believer to not read his or her Bible and simply believe what seems right to them or what they’ve been told by someone else.  In the book of Acts, the Bereans are praised for not only being open minded, but for verifying everything by scripture.  Acts 17:11 says, "The people here were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, since they welcomed the message with eagerness and examined the Scripture daily to see if these things were so."  They cared enough about knowing the truth of God that they were willing to not only discuss matters of faith, but they double checked everything with God's word.  Let us do so now.

           In the Old Testament, the presence of wine was seen as a blessing.  Genesis 27:28 says, “May God give to you— from the dew of the sky and from the richness of the land— an abundance of grain and new  wine.  Deuteronomy 7:13 says, “He will love you, bless you, and multiply you.  He will bless your descendants, and the produce of your land—your grain, new wine.”  Deuteronomy 11:14 says, “I will provide rain for your land in the proper time, the autumn and spring rains, and you will harvest your grain, new wine, and oil.”
          Consequently, the absence of wine was seen as a curse.  Deuteronomy 28:39, 51 says, “You will plant and cultivate vineyards but not drink the wine or gather the grapes, because worms will eat them. They will leave you no grain, new wine, oil, young of your herds, or newborn of your flocks until they cause you to perish.”

Wine is described as a good gift of God.  Psalm 104:14-15 says, “He causes grass to grow for the livestock and provides crops for man to cultivate, producing food from the earth, wine that makes man’s heart glad— making his face shine with oil— and bread that sustains man’s heart.”  Ecclesiastes 9:7-9 says, “Go, eat your bread with pleasure, and drink your wine with a cheerful heart, for God has already accepted your works.  Let your clothes be white all the time, and never let oil be lacking on your head. Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life.”

          Wine is seen as an important image of joy and celebration and victory when the Messiah comes.  Isaiah 25:6 says, “The Lord of Hosts will prepare a feast for all the peoples on this mountain—a feast of aged wine, choice meat, finely aged wine.”

          And Jesus’ first miracle was to turn water to an over-abundance of wine, foreshadowing the coming banquet prophesied by Isaiah, while pointing to Jesus as the host of that future banquet.  Matthew 26:29 says, “But I tell you, from this moment I will not drink of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it in a new way in My Father’s kingdom with you.”

         On the eve of his death, Jesus sanctified a cup of wine as the "New Covenant in my blood."  (Luke 22:14-23)  Yet, as with any good gift that God provides, our sinful hearts can use it for evil.  So though wine is seen as a blessing, drunkenness is evil. 

Drunkenness alters our minds so we have no self control.  Ephesians 5:18 says, “And don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless actions, but be filled by the Spirit.”  Titus 2:3 says, “In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine.”  1 Timothy 3:2-3 says, “An overseer, therefore, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, self-controlled, sensible, respectable, hospitable, an able teacher, not addicted to wine.”  1 Timothy 3:8 says “Deacons, likewise, should be worthy of respect, not hypocritical, not drinking a lot of wine.”

          It is not only clear that drunkenness itself is a sin, but it also leads to more sin.  Proverbs 20:1 Wine is a mocker, beer is a brawler, and whoever staggers because of them is not wise.”  Drunkenness leads to destruction and addiction.  Proverbs 23:29-35 says, “Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has conflicts? Who has complaints? Who has wounds for no reason? Who has red eyes?  Those who linger over wine, those who go looking for mixed wine.  Don’t gaze at wine because it is red, when it gleams in the cup and goes down smoothly.  In the end it bites like a snake and stings like a viper.  Your eyes will see strange things, and you will say absurd things.  You’ll be like someone sleeping out at sea or lying down on the top of a ship’s mast.  ‘They struck me, but I feel no pain! They beat me, but I didn’t know it! When will I wake up? I’ll look for another drink.’”

Unrepentant drunkenness is very serious in scripture.  1 Corinthians 6:9 says, “Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, or anyone practicing homosexuality, no thieves, greedy people, drunkards, verbally abusive people, or swindlers will inherit God’s kingdom.”

          It is obvious that alcohol is in the realm of Christian freedom.  Yet it is also obvious that some should not drink.  Maybe they struggle with drunkenness or they are born with a proclivity to drunkenness or a personality that tends toward addiction.  Therefore what the Bible says about drunkenness is reason enough for many to avoid even a single drink.

Since this falls under the umbrella of Christian freedom, how should we behave under that umbrella?  Romans 14:14-23 says, “I know and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself. Still, to someone who considers a thing to be unclean, to that one it is unclean.  For if your brother is hurt by what you eat, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy that one Christ died for by what you eat.  Therefore, do not let your good be slandered, for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.  Whoever serves Christ in this way is acceptable to God and approved by men.  So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.  Do not tear down God’s work because of food. Everything is clean, but it is wrong for a man to cause stumbling by what he eats.  It is a noble thing not to eat meat, or drink wine, or do anything that makes your brother stumble.  Do you have a conviction? Keep it to yourself before God. The man who does not condemn himself by what he approves is blessed.  But whoever doubts stands condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from a conviction, and everything that is not from a conviction is sin.”

In other words, our conscience is not infallible, but if your conscience says it’s wrong, even if your conscience is misinformed, then violating your conscience with that behavior would be sin.  Therefore, if your conscience says drinking alcohol is wrong, then you should not drink.

Secondly, love should control your use of freedom.  Paul exhorts us to love one another in our thoughtful use of freedoms.  Choosing to drink around someone whose conscience is being wounded, or who is being drawn into something that they’ve spent years to get freedom from is not loving.  Our freedoms should not control us, but our love should control our freedoms.

And finally, God is the centerpiece of the Christian life, not your drink.  God’s good gifts are meant to point us to God, therefore worship God, not the good things that God gives us to enjoy.  If a nonbeliever came to your house where you enjoy a glass of wine with dinner, would they leave thinking, “Wow, they sure love their wine,” or would they leave saying, “Wow, they sure love their God.”

            Romans 14 allows for a difference of conviction on the use of alcohol because the church’s foundation of unity is not built around our views of this issue.  We just read Romans 14:17, “…for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.”  Therefore we can be convinced one way or the other in our own minds about this issue while being charitable to one another as we grow together in the same church.

            As a postscript, when our church decided to make this change to our covenant, we made sure not to add any wording that made it sound like we were promoting a certain use of Christian freedom.  In other words, we are not encouraging the use of alcohol for our members or anyone else.  And of course, we stand against the use of illegal drugs, as well as the use of drugs beyond a doctor's prescribed instructions.  
          But we are calling for that which God commands: love, sobriety and an addiction free life.